The Soap Opera:Nigerian Politricks
Obasanjo started getting ideas"third term" he called it nobody took him serious, then he started laying his cards on the table. people told him to shut the hell up, pack his shit and go back to his farm. He does'nt like it but could nothing but sulk.He's still sulking. Meanwhile, every tom,dick and harry wants his job. Especially his vice Atiku.Baba sneered"come and get it"."Bring it on!"screamed Atiku and he's been screaming on newspapers eversince. Whats his plans? nobody fucking knows.
Meanwhile, some political arsewipes who loved to make money from political brouhaha like this are calling for Interim National Government(now what does that suppose to mean?).shameless shit eating , shit kicking parasite!. Baba has got the ruling party PDP by the balls,he's squeezing and wont let go. most of the politicians had jumped off the wagon some are still trying to control the wheels. so, the political actors now .Lets meet them.
We've got megalomanic retired generals. coming up is one time military head of state-General Buhari (APPLAUSE). He's little bit limited in charisma department , he's got nothing to prove, nothing to offer,he's been there,done that, we've seen what he can do(and its not much really) but he still wants the job anyway.
Next,he's always with a big smile plastered on his face. ladies and gentlemen i present General Ibrahim Babangida (APPLAUSE) . He ruled Nigeria for eight years. started the policy of anything can happen.maradona or evil genius (anyof the aliases is ok by him)made mockery of our lives for eight years ,now he wants to come back!(why?who fucking knows how this men thinks)
Although, he's not a General but he's from the jackboot camp.He's either a Major general or brigadier(frankly? i don't give a shit!) he's got impressive resume,he ruled lagos once,cleaned up the city real good and made a lot of money(how?dont ask me) retired and became an employer of labor (why can't he stick to that?) anyway ,he thinks he's got enough clout to get into aso rock. we will wait and see.(oh! i forgot a round ofAPPLAUSE) thank you .
Now, another sect are the "sudden wealth","money miss roads"and" the dust kickers"they are not keen on winning they just want to make money ,cheap popularity and of course juicy compromise for million dollar contract i'll make a roll call:Rochas Okorocha, rev. Chris Okotie("sniggered",sorry i can't help it) oh ,oh we've got Buba Marwa again!(i told you , he's got impressive resume)
And now,this sect can't manage the unit given to them but they'd like a shot at the big one in aso rock they're the vice president himself and some governors.They've been in office for eight years some are busy amassing wealth with little subtlety,some are even backstabbing,money laundring,corrupt beyond redemption pricks!. But hey, you dont chose your family neither your country right? anyway,here they are our creme de la creme (forgive me if i didnt bow) peter odili of rivers state,Orji kalu of Enugu,Makarfi of Kaduna,Y erima of Zamfara.and thats all we've got for now i mean the serious ones.
Meanwhile,none of them i repeat none of them has given us the political party on which it's platform they're going to campagn or be voted for and the election is just 10 months away! isn't that ................SCARY!!!! (to be continued)

then.........

there is some sort of decency

a controlled hypocrisy
they come to you with practised sincerity
begging you to vote for their party.

now........
they tell barefaced lies
when around us problem mounts high
they vie violently for prominence
insult our intelligence
display their ill gotten wealth unabashed
noble flight of ideas are delibrately crashed
if it threatens the atmosphere
of their vanity fair
insane lot!
who loves to gain from rot
when people cry out
they wondered whats the fuss about
"no cause for alarm "
solutions are in the pipelines, on this we're firm!
thats their standard answer
yet they continued to blunder.

soon.........
they go with caps in their hands
with colorful bands
to their peoples places
and lie to their faces
the accused also pleading his case
but its a perfunctory phase
because they know ,on that day
people vote or not they're going to rig anyway

Screening Exercise
Like everybody else. the "service" is almost over, the question? whats next? filled your brain. I need a job , i need to start something, i need . . . .blah blah blah . Thats the fever around and its so real you could almost taste it. Thats the mood when a friend of mine told me about Nigerian breweries advert having vacancies , so i applied on line and forgot about it. Two weeks later, iwas checking my mail and it goes ...dear @#$,your application blah blah , in a nut shell? they (nigerian breweries) want my arse in Ibadan for a screening exercise in 3 days . Shit! i cursed out loud .Ibadan! i'm up not north for God sakes ! 3days ! dont you guys ever come simple for once! anyway whats a job seeker gonna do . i hopped on the next bus and. . . zap! am in Ibadan .
Ibadan was like she's been hit by a medium tsunami. Everywhere was wet , rough and filthy.Ibadan looks ugly. Its been rainning non stop for two days . I sighed . Sometimes you don't choose your destination it choose's you. Morning of the screening exercise ? the the mad drama begins...the rain started as early as 8am in the morning and continued till i left for the center of the screening exercise .I dogded crannies, jumped over gutters,walked gingerly on slippery mud splattered curbs. And check this out i wore a cream colored pants ! i should be giving an award for the world dumbest guy .And all i wanted to do was just to look good there .you never can tell with this job exercises.
I got to the center with little fuss even the rain abated a little.Felling like i got my shit together i walked into the hall full of eager faces,blank faces and the i-am-down-for-whatever faces. And the test ? gawd ! you gotta give it to these people who planned these test.I mean, they want you to feel like you are a big fat zero! .We are about to finish the test when the rain started up in ernest, this time heavens wept uncontrollably. We finished the test and its still pouring profusely. Around 7pm,hungry and restless everybody decided to take their fates into their hands .The girls with all the hairdo,sexy pants , makeup and things women carries around,the guys looking dapper and much in their well ironed shirts and pants plunged into the rain .I joined and i regretted immediately because i have'nt reached the bus stop when i was splattered and my cream colored pants screamed PINK!i cursed obscenities that will shock an hard arsed car park thug. And the fun is just getting started .
At the bus stop ? i went dumb with shock .The crowd 's humongous and they are all scrambling for taxi."thats just beautiful" i remarked sarcastically .the guy beside me in suit that looks swollen , sighed and said we'd better start walking .Like on cue the rain turned from being mischievious to ugly. The drops increased in size and tempo. I walked and walked till my legs got sore . I dont know if its luck or was just in time, i got a biker using his for public transport . He was drenched and stank like a dead fish. Imentioned my area and climbed .He mentioned his fare .I told him i don't give a flying -shit-smack-at-the-wall so long he can take me home.
we managed to get home. pissed at the world .my pants and top are as good as rag . All just to get a job?! .And i can see more of these coming .Hmmm..... i'd better preparing to go back up north for my service.
Nigeria
will it get me under
i wonder